Agency Questions for Intended Parents

Next to choosing your surrogate, picking your agency is probably one of the most important decisions you will make as an intended parent. We’ve gathered agency questions for intended parents. To be frank, there are lots of agencies that will pull you in with incentives or false sense of their ability to support you as an intended parent. You are going to dedicate at least a year and sometimes up to 3 years with an agency – make sure you LOVE them. You need to know if they have your best interests at heart. We recommend interviewing 3-5 agencies near you to get a feel for what differences you can expect from different places.

If you are a SURROGATE you can find a list of agency questions to ask here

Apart from your Surrogate, Choosing the right agency is the MOST important step in Surrogacy

-Supporting Surrogacy

Quick Tips

Before diving into the intended parents agency questions here are some quick tips before you get started with any agency.

1. Do your research: Google the agency! Look for any related news articles, join online surrogacy groups- there are TONS including agency review groups. Make sure to read their website and make notes. A well established agency will have a good website with lots of information.
   
2. Video or In Person meetings are best: You can learn a whole lot more about who you are dealing with by looking at them. Not being able to see them in person is a red flag!
   
3. Don’t Rush! Yes we get it, it’s really exciting to jump in with the hope of getting your child. But take your time! It is so important to partner with an agency that works for you. This could be the most important decision that will get you the family you want! Intended parents must make sure to ask their agency all the right questions before diving in
   
4. Go with your Gut! If you feel like something is off. Trust that intuition. Does something sound too good to be true or is something they say totally different than other agencies you’ve talked to? This is a big commitment and you should feel 100% satisfied with the answers that you get.

Agency Questions

1. How long have you been in business? Longevity matters here. It might seem fun to go with a new agency. It has some serious drawbacks. Such as lack of connections and inexperience.
2. How many Staff do you have? How many are dedicated to Intended Parents/ Surrogates?
   Don’t be fooled by a large staff. Make sure there are lots of surrogate/intended parents support staff.
3. How many current surrogates are you supporting?
   This number divided by the support people gives you an estimated number of support people to clients ratio. Hint: You want a smaller number of clients/staff.
4. How many successful surrogacy journey’s have you had in the past year? If this number is low, you need to know why.
5. Do you have different departments? If yes, what are they?
   More departments, means more services offered. Be wary of places that have very few staff.
6. What is your definition of a ‘successful’ surrogacy? This is a great question to see if they talk about the happiness, well being and positive outcomes for surrogates. Surrogacy is about more than babies born.
7. Do you provide support outside business hours? Lots of the crisis situations happen outside of regular business hours. Do they have a support team that can help with issues that happen outside work hours?

Agency Services

1. What kind of services do you offer intended parents? Do they offer everything that you need?
2. What about surrogate support? Surrogate Support is very important.
3. What is your screening process for surrogates? You should know : Pregnancy, Medical & Birth History, Psych evaluation, Alcohol, History of drug or cigarette use.
4. What are your requirements for surrogates who work with your agency? Answers vary. However, they should have the above minimums.
5. Is there room for exceptions within your surrogate requirements? Find out if your surrogate qualifies
6. What is your average TOTAL cost of surrogacy? This is very important. Please ask them clarifying details such as, cost of embryos, surrogate compensation (if applicable), international fees, Lawyer fees, matching fees?
7. What is the process for payment for services? You will want to know if you need to provide the entire amount upfront, after, in installments? Is money held in trust?
8. How long will I receive services after the surrogacy is complete? Surrogacy doesn’t simply end at birth. You may have issues/concerns that occur up to 6-12 months post birth.
9. Do you work with domestic and/or international Intended parents? Make sure they specialize in your situation. When you are international, make sure they have recent and extensive clients from your country. This way you will know they are up to date on the processes that apply to your situation.

Asking the right questions can save you time, money and frustration

– Supporting Surrogacy

Matching Process

1. How many intended parents do you have waiting for a surrogate? How many people waiting tells you how many surrogates needed to support that.
2. What does your matching process like? Try to get as much detail as possible. Try to avoid places that pick your match for you. Your needs in a surrogate might be different than someone else’s.
3. What if I have already found a surrogate to work with? Do you save money? Do they need to screen your surrogate separately?
4. What information do you provide to surrogates about me during the matching process? You want to be sure what information is shared and what will be confidential.
5. How long will does it take to find a match with your agency? Yes, we all want to be matched as soon as possible. Be wary of any agency that quotes you very different than other agencies. No one can guarantee matching for an exact time frame. If it seems to good to be true. Run.
6. How do you handle matches breaking? Sometimes life happens and a match needs to be broken. Make sure your agency doesn’t have a policy that won’t let you match again for X number of months following a broken match.

Agency Support/Communication

1. How often will you connect with me for support throughout the journey? Communication expectations are important. You want to know if they will be there if you need them. You also want to ensure they will proactively reach out.
2. How will you help me prepare for the first conversation with the intended parents? Do they offer coaching before talking or do they leave you alone?
3. Is support provided for matching, screening, legals, pregnancy, postpartum? Every Agency is different and not all provide match to postpartum services
4. How do you support contact with my surrogate throughout the journey? Ideally, you want an agency who supports you throughout the process
5. How do you handle conflicts between surrogates and intended parents? You want to know that they have the skills required to help with conflict. Conflict doesn’t always happen but when it does you want to make sure you are supported.
6. .Do you offer counselling/coaching to help with communication with my intended parents? Unfortunately, sometimes issues are larger and need extra support. You want to know they have the resources available if needed.

Other Professionals

1. What other professionals will I need to complete my surrogacy? You want them to be able to walk you through all of the steps and who needs to be involved.
2. Do you have relationships/ partnership with supporting professionals if so, what kind? You want to know they have a large list of contacts that are surrogacy specialized. You want to know if you have choices or they only have a small amount of options.
3. Do you have a relationship with my Fertility Clinic? Some agencies have better working relationships with some clinics versus others. You want to know that they are able to connect with the clinic to support you and your surrogate.
4. Will you help me find additional professionals, if I need them? Do they leave you on your own to find people or do they have great relationships with industry experts?
5. Do I have to choose from pre-approved professionals with your agency? Sometimes you want to use your own professionals for certain parts of the process. Make sure you can!

Other Important Questions

1. What will I be responsible for during the surrogacy process? Important to know what they are responsible for and what you need to do.
2. Why should I work with your surrogacy agency? This is a great question to see what type of people you are working with. Do they brag about what’s cool about them or do they bash other agencies?
3. What is the best thing about your agency? How they answer this can determine if they are a great fit for you.
4. What is the worst thing about your agency? No Program is perfect. The goal here is to see if they are willing to look at mistakes and improve
5. Do you think I’m a good fit for your surrogacy program? By now they know more about your situation and can tell you if you’d be a good fit.
6. What are the next steps? A good agency will give you all the next steps so you aren’t left wondering

Final Thoughts for Intended Parents …

Choosing an agency is a very big commitment. Picking the right agency can save you time, money and stress. If it sounds too good to be true it probably is. Make sure you are choosing the best fit for you and your situation.