We have rounded up the most common mistakes intended parents make in their surrogacy journey. We give you the important things to make sure you’ve taken care of so you can avoid making the same mistakes other intended parents make.

1. Matching with the Wrong Surrogate

Firstly, We know that it is extremely difficult to find a surrogate. So it’s really hard to say no. But not every surrogate is going to go the distance with you. If you and your surrogate don’t match on these questions, you are better off finding a new surrogate. If you feel like something isn’t quite right pump the brakes. Plus, most agencies won’t make you pay a matching fee if you haven’t officially matched.

2. Going with the Wrong Agency

There are so many factors that go into finding a great agency. We’ve made a list of agency questions to ask before signing with them. A good or a terrible agency can make or break your whole surrogacy experience for you and your surrogate. We’ve seen hundreds of intended parents match with the wrong agency for them and it has cost them thousands; sometimes tens of thousands because they did not know the full picture before signing on the dotted line.

3. Not discussing Pregnancy/ Birth/ After Birth with your Surrogate

The most common disagreements and some of the biggest causes for a relationship breakdown with your surrogate are related to ideas about pregnancy, Birth plan, birthplace, birth attendant and communication expectations throughout the journey and following the birth of your child. You will save yourself a world of grief and frustration if you ask your surrogate these questions before agreeing to match.

4. Not discussing Finances

We know that it is taboo to talk about money with your surrogate. We agree for the most part, except while you are in the pre-matching stage. It is important that you have a frank discussion about money expectations. We see a lot of surrogacy contracts go south over simple questions that you could have quickly asked in the matching stage. It is important you are on the same page or the same ballpark when it comes to basic reimbursement expectations

5. Not Doing your Research

There are many factors involved in surrogacy. The more information you have the better. We highly recommend joining a surrogacy support group. They will be a wealth of information that can help you understand the journey you are about to embark on. Spend time 3-4 months actively researching all things surrogacy, including reading all of our posts! The more you know, the better equipped you will be at handling any challenges that come up.

6. Not picking the right people for your support team

In addition to your agency, you want to make sure that you have a great support team. Research your lawyer, counsellor, reproductive endocrinologist, your clinic and your surrogacy coach. Having the wrong people guiding you can cost you time, money and be incredibly frustrating.

7. Not Hiring a Surrogacy Coach or Case Manager

8. Not having a GREAT Contract.

We cannot recommend enough to ensure that you have a top notch Assisted Reproduction Technology(ART) Lawyer. You must ensure that they have extensive knowledge in your type of surrogacy arrangement. Your contract should be thorough and clearly explain everyone’s rights and responsibilities throughout your surrogacy journey. You want to make sure every worst case scenario is covered. You must absolutely ensure you are protected.

9. Not Discussing Communication Expectations

It is important to clearly cover when, how and how often you want to communicate. You should know what each other needs when they are: happy, sad, excited, stressed or angry. You need to understand how you each operate. As a surrogacy coach we see more relationship breakdowns surrounding communication than ANYTHING ELSE. If you are struggling on what you need to know, Book a coaching session today.